


i took it all in like air

by KaytiKazoo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28905045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytiKazoo/pseuds/KaytiKazoo
Summary: It’s been a rough couple of days for Fitz. Daisy has been swayed by Hive, and  betrayed and framed Lincoln before she escapes. Fitz and Lincoln are restless to get Daisy back, but after Fitz is choked by his girlfriend, and Lincoln nearly dies after he injects himself with the experimental antidote, Fitz is worn out. When Daisy helps Lincoln escape so they can be together, he is just over this fucking week.
Relationships: Lincoln Campbell/Leo Fitz/Skye | Daisy Johnson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	i took it all in like air

Fitz sat on the Quinjet, looking across the aisle at Daisy. She was hurt. Her arm looked terrible. He was worried, wanted to go over and check on her, but the ache and hurt on his chest was still fresh, and he wasn't sure he'd be welcome. He was hesitant after everything that happened. The grief he could handle, and he’d thought he could handle the betrayal. Anyone else’s, maybe. But Daisy… Daisy had abandoned him when he needed her the most, when they needed each other. She wouldn’t even look at him, her eyes down on her arm or over at Mack.

They were talking about, something. Fitz couldn’t even say.

He wanted her to look at him, to acknowledge him. She didn’t have to say anything, or apologize. He just wanted to see her eyes, see her look at him, and know that he was there with her, that he was there for her.

But she wouldn’t  _ look _ at him. It was infuriating, listening to them talk about... something, something that wasn’t the gaping wound in his chest. He didn't understand how she could just sit there, how she wasn't coming apart.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" Mack asked, and Fitz couldn't stay quiet, couldn't just will her to look at him when she clearly had no interest in his presence.

"Because she's turned her back on us, Mack! Because something terrible happened, and she didn't want our help getting through it."

"Slow down, Turbo."

"Well, we've all been through terrible things, all of us, and we've never turned our backs."

He needed her to understand, needed her to realize that she wasn't the only one who was hurting, the only one who had lost him. There was a long tense moment, and Fitz couldn’t look at her.

“I’m doing what I need to do,” Daisy said.

“And it still affects us,” Mack reminded her, “like it or not.”

“Thank you for the splint,” she said, standing, and Fitz held his breath, hoping she’d glanced at him, pause near him. He felt pathetic, waiting on a girl to notice him, but he’d been in the warm sunlight of her attention before and he ached in the cold without it. She left, and Fitz sighed. 

“I’m an idiot,” Fitz said.

“She just needs a little more time.”

“I’m not asking her to forget Lincoln, or not mourn him, but it’s been six months, Mack. I miss my girlfriend. I miss Lincoln every day, and it hurts worse because Daisy isn’t here with me. It’s like I lost them both that day, and Daisy doesn’t even care.”

“She’ll come around.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Fitz asked, looking at Mack for some kind of answer in his face, but Mack looked as lost and betrayed as he felt inside. 

“I don’t know, Turbo.”

* * *

It had started when Daisy had been swayed by Hive, and had framed Lincoln to look like the traitor. Lincoln had been so hurt by that, he wouldn’t talk to anyone for a little bit, even Fitz, but they’d at least kissed goodbye as they’d headed out to different missions. 

Fitz hadn't expected to see her there, hadn't expected Hive to want Radcliffe too. He didn’t even know what Hive could want with him, but it wasn’t good when Daisy showed up with Hydra agents. 

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, I swear,” she said, her hand stretched out in front of her, the force of her powers pressing on his throat. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He pulled at his collar, tried to push nonexistent hands away from his throat so that he could get some air. “But, you and Lincoln, I’ve seen the future. Someone in SHIELD is gonna die, so if you love me, and him, you will leave us alone.”

He stared at her, panicked, unable to breathe. 

“This is your last warning,” she said simply. “Next time, I snap your neck.”

She let him go, and left without checking on him. He gasped, drawing breath as sharply as he could, falling to the ground against the wall, tear streaming down his cheeks. For a minute, he stayed there. He had to get back to the hotel to rendezvous with Mack and Jemma, but he - he couldn’t move. There was a bright supernova of confusion and anger in his chest, helpless once again. When he stood, he wiped his eyes, and left the room.

* * *

“Fitz,” Lincoln greeted him when they touched down at the base again. Fitz reached out and let Lincoln pull him into his arms. “Are you okay?”

“Daisy, I saw - she -” he said, but he couldn’t continue, letting himself almost collapse in Lincoln’s arms. 

“ _ Oh _ , okay. I’ve got you,” Lincoln said. “Let’s go back to the room.”

“We have to,” he started to argue.

“You’re trembling. You need to rest and relax before you do anything. Okay?”

"Doctor Boyfriend is the worst," Fitz grumbled and Lincoln chuckled, kissing his temple sweetly. "But okay."

"Good. You're a good Patient Boyfriend."

Technically, Fitz had to talk to Coulson. Technically, he should be working to find Daisy and Radcliffe and help Simmons with the antidote. Technically, there was a lot of stuff he could and should be doing. 

But Lincoln had his arm around his waist as they walked through the base, and as long as Lincoln was around, there wasn't anything that could hurt him. Lincoln had come off as prickly and untrusting when they'd met, which is exactly what Lincoln had said about Fitz once, and now, somehow, they were here. 

"Tell me what happened," Lincoln said gently once they were in their room. The bed that felt too small when they were all home felt too big without Daisy there. 

"Daisy was there. I was talking to Radcliffe, trying to get him to agree to help us, and she was there. She had Hydra backup and they took Radcliffe, but she stayed behind."

His breathing felt ragged and scraped his throat on the way out.

"She told me to stay out of their way, and to stop trying to save her, while she," he cut himself off. He couldn't say it. He almost didn't believe that it had happened in the first place. 

"Take your time," Lincoln said.

"She used her power to, to choke me."

He whispered it. If he said it quiet enough, maybe it wouldn't seem so bad. 

Lincoln tensed against him, and Fitz knew that was a silly thought. Their girlfriend was under Hive's influence, but she could have done anything to warn Fitz away. She could have broken a bone or knocked him out, anything, but she had chosen to strangle him with her power, nearly suffocating him. She knew what that would do, how that scared him, how that would affect him. 

Lincoln ran his fingers along his jaw and tipped his head up, then carefully touched along Fitz's throat.

"Are you okay? You're not, you can breathe?"

"Yeah, I'm breathing fine now."

He pressed a kiss into Fitz's forehead.

"Why would she do that," Lincoln muttered. "Why would she ever want to hurt you?"

Fitz curled his fists in Lincoln's shirt.

"I've got you now, Fitz. You're okay. I won't let her hurt you."

"I know."

He tucked his head under Lincoln’s chin, and it felt so bizarre to be here. They’d only started this because of Daisy, because Daisy had had a thing for Lincoln while she was dating Fitz, and Fitz hadn’t been able to deny his attraction to Lincoln when she admitted she liked him. It was bizarre to him that they’d be here now without her, but Lincoln had never treated him like some add-on, a bonus he got with Daisy. 

“I’m so sorry you went through that today, that I wasn’t there to take care of you, wasn’t there to protect you.”

"You had stuff to do yourself. How was your day?"

"I had to wear a suicide vest that someone else had the trigger to."

Fitz felt like his entire brain shut down for a minute, buffering as he took this information in. There was no way that he had heard correctly. Lincoln had worn a _suicide vest_ that _someone_ _else_ had the trigger to. That couldn't be right. Coulson wouldn't…

Yes, Coulson absolutely would.

"What?"

"Yeah, so, my day wasn't great," Lincoln continued. 

"You're okay, though? Nothing happened?"

"Nothing happened. I'm okay. I almost went too far but May was there and - Alisha killed her double. She can feel everything her doubles can, and she - And I can't imagine being under that influence for it. I can't imagine that kind of dedication and blind loyalty."

Fitz threaded his fingers through Lincoln's hair, stroking along his scalp. 

"Between Daisy and Alisha, I never want to be under that influence. I don't want to hurt you, or anyone, for it. I want to be the man you love, and -"

Fitz shushed him quietly, and continued running just his fingertips along his skin, like whispers, over and over until Lincoln relaxed into his touch, each muscle going slack one by one. 

"Today sucked, but do you know what my mum used to tell me?"

"Stop taking my VCR apart?"

"No," Fitz chuckled. "No, she said today sucked but you never have to do today again." 

“Do you think she’d like me, your mom?”

“She would. She’d be very impressed that I landed myself a doctor,” Fitz said, kissing Lincoln’s cheek. “And such a handsome one at that.”

“And she’d have no problem with me being a,” Lincoln trailed off, and Fitz wasn’t sure where he was headed.

“A guy, or an Inhuman?”

“Both?”

“She knows I’m queer, so no problem on the guy front. And she’s always been open-minded. She wouldn’t mind you being an Inhuman, but that’s up to you if you want to tell her.”

“Oh, planning on bringing me home, huh?” Lincoln teased.

“In my defense, you’ve already met both Daisy’s parents, so it’s my turn.”

“What if I beat you to it, huh? What if I take you home first?”

Fitz laughed, and after the day they had, it felt good to laugh with him. 

* * *

Then, came the antidote. They were thinking of a way to test it, Fitz leaned close to Simmons.

“I’ll do it,” Lincoln said. “You can test it out on me.”

Fitz took a sharp breath, and looked at him. They needed to be able to test it, but the thought of Lincoln being the test subject made him pause. Even during the debate with Coulson, Lincoln pushing to take the drug, Fitz couldn’t quite believe that they’d gone from a happy, solid relationship to  _ this _ so quickly. 

“Fitz, any thoughts?” Coulson asked.

Fitz looked up and considered both Simmons and then Lincoln.

“I agree with Simmons that the antitoxin could be dangerous,” Fitz said slowly, and watched Simmons start to make a gesture of thanks, “but I also think there’s a chance that it could work.”

Coulson told them to find a different solution, because putting Lincoln's life on the line for Daisy wasn't a fair price to pay. 

Of course, he should have known that wasn't enough for Lincoln. He should have known that he wasn't patient enough to wait for a different solution. 

"Lincoln," he breathed out, rushing into the lab.

"I'm tired of arguing."

"Lincoln, no!"

Instead, he injected himself with the antiserum, overloading his system. His powers went haywire, exploding the computers in the lab, and when he dropped to the ground, Fitz couldn't breathe. 

"Lincoln," he said, rushing to his side while Simmons rushed to her workstation. He hauled Lincoln into his lap, cradling his head while Lincoln trembled. He pushed open Lincoln's eye to check. "Hey, Lincoln. Look at me. Look at me."

"I just want to help," Lincoln grunted.

"This is an elixir, and it'll hopefully counter the antitoxin," Simmons said, coming back with a syringe. 

"N-no. It's gonna work."

"We don't have time for this. Your body is shutting down." 

"I can handle it. Please," he said, and his eyes turned to Fitz's, "just let me do this."

Fitz sighed, and gripped his hand, nodding. 

"If you die, I'm bringing you back and killing you," he said, leaning over and kissing Lincoln's forehead as he groaned in pain. 

* * *

It killed Fitz to see Lincoln in that bed after, pale and shaky, weak as the antitoxin worked through him.

"I'm sorry," Lincoln said when Fitz went to see him. "There was just no other choice. We both thought it was the right thing to do.

"Hey, don't act as if we're on the same side on this," Fitz said, shaking his head. "Coulson gave you a direct order, and you disobeyed. Now, half the lab's computers are fried, not to mention the blown servers."

He didn't mention that his heart lived in his throat, half a best away from stopping entirely with the stress and worry of it all.

"I'm sorry about that. Really, I am. But the antitoxin is going to work. I can feel it."

"Well, we won't know until Simmons has run some more tests."

Lincoln nodded. 

" And for that, I'll need to drill inside your head," Simmons said, stepping into the medlab where Lincoln was set up.

"Wait. The tissue sample you need is from my brain?" Lincoln asked, a little panicked.

"That's correct," Simmons said, pausing to look at him. "something you would have known, had you asked questions instead of going behind our backs."

Fitz looked at her, and squeezed Lincoln's arm lightly, before saying,  "he's all yours, Doctor."

* * *

Lincoln's immune system was compromised, shredded by the antitoxin, and on top of that, Simmons found that it hadn't worked in the first place. So, Fitz's girlfriend was out in the world under some mind control, and his boyfriend was quarantined because he would die if someone brought a sickness near him.

"It'll be okay," Jemma said. 

"Will it? Because I'm not seeing how this will turn out okay. I'm not sure how any of this could possibly be okay. This feels like a no-win situation. Our one idea to save Daisy might kill Lincoln, and I can't live with that."

"I'm sorry, Fitz," she sighed, touching his arm. "We'll figure something out. We always do."

He wanted to believe her, but everything looked so bleak ahead of them, he had a hard time seeing any light.

Simmons did let him in to see Lincoln, but he had to have his temperature taken and he had to go through a sterilization process before entering Lincoln's module.

"Hey," Fitz said. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Can I get out of here?"

"No, not yet," Fitz said, sitting on Lincoln's bed while Lincoln paced. "I just wanted to check up on you."

"So you can tell me I'm reckless and disobedient?"

"No. Not because it isn't true, but because I get why you did it. I would have to if it would have helped you or Daisy, but you could have died, Lincoln. That antitoxin ruined your immune system, and it could have killed you. I can't lose you, too, even to get Daisy back."

Lincoln shook his head. 

"It didn't," he replied.

"But it could have. It could have stopped your heart. Did you consider that? Did you consider that if the antitoxin was dangerous, that I would have lost Daisy and had to bury you in the same week?"

Lincoln sighed and came back to Fitz's side, sinking onto the bed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, Leo."

Fitz leaned over and kissed Lincoln, which was technically against Simmons' orders but he couldn't help himself. Lincoln's lips fit against his so perfectly that Fitz couldn't help but sigh into it. Before Lincoln, he'd had crushes and attractions to men, but he'd never followed through on any of it. It was only with Daisy that he had enough confidence to follow through on his attraction. 

"I won't do it again," Lincoln promised. 

* * *

The next time he saw Daisy, he hung back while Lincoln rushed forward to embrace her. He was glad to see her alive, even if she was pale and clearly hurt, but Fitz could still feel the way her powers closed his throat, air unable to slip through. He could still remember the white hot, sharp stab of panic through him as he flashed back to the pod, the rush of water, and then the frustration of not being able to think when he woke, his brain a scramble. He'd worked so hard to prove his dad wrong that being shunted into a brain that wouldn't work, wouldn't cooperate had been terrifying. 

And Daisy had pulled that panic up to the surface. 

The nights he spent alone while Lincoln was in quarantine had been rough, and he'd eventually snuck down to the containment rooms to cuddle up with him. As angry as he was that Lincoln had taken matters into his own hands, he still wanted to be near him. He still loved him. Lincoln had lifted his arm and kissed his forehead. 

Daisy wouldn't look at him as they helped her to the medlab to receive a blood transfusion and make sure Hive’s influence was truly gone, but Fitz wasn't sure he wanted her to. 

* * *

"You won't go see her?" Lincoln asked.

Fitz shook his head. 

"She's not under Hive's influence," Lincoln reminded him. "It's all Daisy now."

"I can't look at her right now. I - it hurts too much."

"Fitz."

"I'm trying to convince myself that she doesn't love you more than me, that she wants me here as much, but it's really hard when she strangled me for being in the same place as her, and she tried to break you out of SHIELD because she wanted to be with you."

"Oh, Fitz," Lincoln said, and Fitz shook his head, swiping at a tear on his cheek angrily. "It's not about me versus you."

"Sure feels like it."

"That was purely because I'm Inhuman, and you're not."

Fitz let out a laugh that sounded brittle and sharp to his own ears.

"I don't see how that makes this better."

Lincoln wrapped his arms around Fitz from behind and rested his chin against his shoulder, his breath tickling Fitz's neck.

"It wasn't because of who I am or that she loves me more. It was that I happened to be Inhuman, a circumstance of my genetics. That doesn't make me any more important to her. It made me more important to Hive."

Fitz sighed and dropped his head down, leaned against the lab table with Lincoln's heat solid against him. 

"I still can't get the image of Daisy out of my head," Fitz replied. "I still see her in Radcliffe's lab, and can still feel the air getting cut off, and I can't stop thinking about how when it came down to it, that was how she threatened me. She choked me, and tried to rescue you, and it hurts."

"I know," Lincoln said. "I'm sorry."

Fitz brought a hand up to Lincoln's arm and just held on. That’s all he could do, hold on and wait for all this to pass.

* * *

Everything after that moved so fast, they didn’t have time to worry about their feelings. Hive had taken a warhead to disperse the pathogen over the widest possible area. They were scrambling, and Fitz couldn’t think about Daisy. He couldn’t think about Daisy as the Primitives came after him and the other agents, frantic to get out of the loading bay. He couldn’t think about Daisy as he and May snuck onto the Zephyr and stowed away underneath the containment module. He couldn’t think about Daisy even with Daisy in front of him while they worked together to get control of the Zephyr again. 

He took off his jacket when it started to get cold, draping it around Daisy’s shoulders. She’d hurt him, but he still loved her. He still cared about her. He always would. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and kissing her temple, and she leaned into it for a second.

Maybe they’d be okay.

* * *

Except Lincoln got hurt.

And Daisy had a vision.

And when Daisy tried to sacrifice herself, Lincoln wouldn’t let her. 

And there wasn’t anything Fitz could do about it, fighting the Primitives, unaware of what was happening on the Quinjet. 

When they made it to communications, Fitz could hear Daisy and Lincoln, the warbling in Daisy’s voice, the static of the radio as Lincoln spoke. And then the communication went dead. He closed his eyes.

“Turn it back,” Daisy begged. “Turn it back.  _ Turn it back. _

“Can’t. Remote access is offline.”

“You have to. You have to. Help me, Coulson.”

“Even then,” Fitz said, feeling his own voice break, “the Quinjet’s not designed to maneuver in space, Daisy.”

“No,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks. “We have to at least try.”

“He wouldn’t want us to,” Coulson said gently.

“He’s paying for my mistake.”

“No, he’s paying for all our mistakes.”

* * *

Lincoln was gone, and then Daisy left. Fitz curled up in bed alone at night, holding onto Lincoln’s hoodie until it no longer smelled like him. He kept a bottle of Lincoln’s cologne which he sprayed on his pillow on bad nights, but something was missing. 

A lot of things were missing.

And Fitz knew if Daisy were there, they could get through this together, but she disappeared, and didn’t look behind her when she went. 

* * *

“Fitz,” Daisy said, finally back on base, finally helping them, finally home. He stared at his work. “Fitz, please talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about?” he asked. 

“Whatever it is making you avoid me.”

He scoffed at that.

“What?”

“You really don’t know?” he asked. 

“You and I haven’t really talked since,” she trailed off, “and I wasn’t sure if it was about that.”

“Lincoln dying? I tried to talk to you. I tried, but every time you pushed me away. You didn’t want my help. And then you left. So, yeah, it’s about that, and everything else you wouldn’t talk to me about.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

That made him laugh, a bitter, broken sound. 

“That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said, you know that? The funniest. Are you even sorry for what you did to me? Do you even remember?”

“I left, I know, but -”

“You really don’t remember?” Fitz asked. “I know you were under Hive’s whatever but do I mean that little to you that you’d forget?”

“Hive’s sw - oh. God.”

He set down his stylus, and looked at her.

“I needed you, too, you know. I lost him, too, and I know you don’t like to think about other people some times but I needed you when Lincoln died. I didn’t have anyone left, my boyfriend died, my girlfriend abandoned me, and I had to figure out what to do about that without you. Did you think about me before you left?”

She made a soft noise of pain and protest all at once, but didn’t argue.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. You know what sucks even more than that? I didn’t get to say goodbye to him. I don’t even remember what my last words were to him. I don’t remember the last time I kissed him. He was trying to get me to go see you, and then the world fell apart, and I don’t remember the last time -”

He shook his head.

“Where does that leave us?” she asked quietly. “Did I ruin this? Us?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

She nodded.

“I can be your friend,” Fitz said, “but I don’t know if I can trust you with my heart anymore. I’m still repairing what you broke before Lincoln died. So, if you don’t mind, I have to get back to work.”

And, like he had become so accustomed to, she turned around and she left him there. He couldn’t take a breath, feeling almost unworthy of it, until spots started to cloud his vision and he was forced to by instinct. The air felt wrong as it settled in his lungs, but maybe he deserved it, the oxygen like acid down his throat and back out. After all, he had loved them, loved her, loved him, and he’d lost it anyway. Maybe he deserved all the hurt he’d been given. Maybe he deserved the loss. 


End file.
